Ivars' Voice

My favorite holiday, Halloween, has been criticized by some Christians uncomfortable with its dark image. My solution is a new line of costumes featuring Bible verses. A few examples: Skeleton: “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones.” Matthew 23:27. Wolfman: “His whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau.” Genesis 25:25.
-- Doug Mendenhall

# posted by Ivars: 7:55 PM ikrafts@msn.com  0 comments

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't
covered by an HMO.

We don't know that for sure. It is possible that Mary was
just "outside the network." Or maybe she misread the contract and
did not see that it was actually for "mangered care" rather than
managed care. Because she did not read the fine print she probably
assumed that a "double-occupancy" room meant that you would be
sharing with another person- not a horse or a cow. You have to look
carefully at those HMO contracts. No co-pay though so that is a good
thing, we are told. Or perhaps Joseph was in fact covered by an HMO
but they were not in a state that extended coverage to unmarried
partners. Or it is possible that she used up all of her coverage
when the HMO paid for the Lamaze class that she and Joseph attended.

People see things differently.  When I see that Mary was given a
place to flop out in the barn as a way of holding costs down, I
assume that she *does* have HMO coverage. However, if she had been
part of the British or Canadian health care systems she would have
gotten full coverage for free. Problem is, a two year waiting period
doesnt work all that well with pregnancies. So many choices in
health care these days.

# posted by Ivars: 12:56 PM ikrafts@msn.com  0 comments

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending worship.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of

the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good

basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most worshipers can recognize besides

gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.

The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of worship consisting of

choir, pastor/priest, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of worship led by

parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song often sung a little more quietly, since most of

the people have already left.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when

to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the church who don't know the seating capacity of a

pew.

# posted by Ivars: 12:44 PM ikrafts@msn.com  0 comments

How is Faith congregation doing? Greetings to them!

I have had some major changes in my life recently. I studied at the Estonian School of Diplomacy, transferred my credits, and got a masters degree in International Relations and European Investigations. I applied for a vacancy at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and passed. Probably in November I will start there. I don't know, what position will be available. Anyway - they asked me if I was able to live without pork for 3 years, and "Do you like Arabic?"

But God knows what He has prepared for me. I just hope, that you won't see me on Al-Jazeera news, with a request to pull out Western troops. I am pretty sure, that my field of work will include relations between politics and religion. This I know the best, I think. Well, we will see. Speaking of this, I truly hope that Lord won't take me away from Europe, as He planned considering Nineveh. Days of His grace seem still to be here...

Well! Please remember me and my family in your prayers! I wish you, Ivars, all the best, and God's love in your days. With the best memories from Minnesota and Faith.

Roland

# posted by Ivars: 7:02 PM ikrafts@msn.com  0 comments