Thursday, November 16, 2006
more for pastors
More from The Lutheran Handbook (see yesterday's posting):
* What if you forget your sermon notes at home? Remember, no one has ever complained that a sermon was too short.
* Some uses for OLD SERMON MANUSCRIPTS: +You can reuse old sermon manuscripts when you give devotions at the nursing home. +Save them to use as packing material when you leave your current call. +If you or your spouse enjoy scrapbooking, use decorative scissors on the edges. This will preserve them for your golden years. You will be shocked that you ever preached such heresy.
* One of the suggestions for handling ringing cell phones during the service: Equip ushers with squirt guns. Many older gentlemen appreciate a John Wayne-style gun belt to accompany their six-shooter. Younger ushers prefer Super-Soakers. Keep towels handy to dry the offender off and avoid hard feelings. (Program your own cell phone to play A Mighty Fortress is our God.
* Some of the suggestions for getting out of a traffic ticket: +Always wear your clerical collar when driving. +Address the officer as "my child." (ed. maybe not)
* What if you forget your sermon notes at home? Remember, no one has ever complained that a sermon was too short.
* Some uses for OLD SERMON MANUSCRIPTS: +You can reuse old sermon manuscripts when you give devotions at the nursing home. +Save them to use as packing material when you leave your current call. +If you or your spouse enjoy scrapbooking, use decorative scissors on the edges. This will preserve them for your golden years. You will be shocked that you ever preached such heresy.
* One of the suggestions for handling ringing cell phones during the service: Equip ushers with squirt guns. Many older gentlemen appreciate a John Wayne-style gun belt to accompany their six-shooter. Younger ushers prefer Super-Soakers. Keep towels handy to dry the offender off and avoid hard feelings. (Program your own cell phone to play A Mighty Fortress is our God.
* Some of the suggestions for getting out of a traffic ticket: +Always wear your clerical collar when driving. +Address the officer as "my child." (ed. maybe not)
